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Sakmongkol ak 47

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Sexual perdition

Let us now turn over to this question of Anwar’s sexuality. ( pun intended)

Aziz Pokya is quite a character. He is a wholesale fish monger. He is also the honorary president of the He-shes in Kuantan. They need a Mafiosi enforcer too you know. Aziz Pokya is known as abe azi among the mak-nyahs.[1]

Aziz Pokya was recounting this story. Between sips of kopi tiam, we applied our keen hearing.

Following the hoo-hahs about Anwar and Saiful, the maknyahs, Pahang chapter held a round-table meeting. Aziz Pokya requested to have that meeting. It was held at the Restoren Makmur. It is near the Kuantan wet market.

I called this emergency meeting to discuss one important issue says Aziz Pokya. Since this Saiful Bukhari made his police report and then his oath at the wilayah mosque, your business and my interest have suffered. That means my takings are meagre.

I want to ask you people directly. You maknyahs have been in this business for a long time. Let me ask you directly, Aziz Pokya repeated. What do you think is going on with this Anwar bloke?

One of the representative from the Cawangan Tanah Puteh Branch, Kuantan Division stood up. Heshe declared. I speak on behalf of my soul mates here. I say this thing between Anwar and Saiful did take place. We think they are lovers and the fling they had, was consensual.

Then why did Saiful made a police report and eventually said he was raped? Because, answered the maknyah perwakilan, Saiful was jilted. Anwar could have found a new jambu coffee maker.

So do you think Anwar is gay? The answer, in unison, came. Anwar is bi-sexual abe azi. He cruises both ways. It’s like going to Kuala Lumpur. Some prefer to go the old route. Some like the highway. Some like half-half. Half way the old route and then they take the interchange at Termerloh, onto the highway.

As the meeting was held with observers in attendance, they all booed Aziz Pokya. The observers noted that Aziz Pokya is a staunch Anwar supporter.

Exasperated and in an attempt to save face Aziz Pokya declared. Let me ask you guys this question. Is it your arse that Anwar roasted? If it’s not, why do you bother?

You see the Chinese? They don’t care what’s Anwar’s sexual preferences are. Anwar can even do it on a sheep, a cow or chicken for that matter. They don’t care. So why should you care, if it’s not your backside that’s sore.

But jokes aside, continued Aziz as he finished recounting the story. It is said that the maknyah can provide better service that can a woman. How do you know, we demanded of Aziz.

You know tak, this particular restaurant at the Tanah Puteh river cruise jetty? This particular restaurant where the ‘proprietoress’ runs her/his business? If you tahu, then you will also know that he has a boyfriend who drives in so and so car. The proprietoress drives a BMW with so and so number plate.

I have eaten there, said a friend, his interest stirred. Heshe is a good cook.

Yes, that’s the one. And you know what, the boyfriend has declared he will never marry anyone else. He is blissfully happy with the proprietoress.

You look at their skin, they are flawless. Wonder what jamu they take. Maybe they bathe in cow’s milk like Datin Rosmah and Dato Najib tak? With make up on, under the cover of darkness, they can even call the birds to eat off their palms.

But these are maknyahs protested another friend. They cross-dress like young Khairi and looked every inch a woman. Yes, Aziz said, but they provide the same service satisfaction guaranteed as gay males. Anwar must have found the services provided by Saiful and the rest, beyond his wildest wet dreams.

But he has Islamic credentials. He can talk about Islam my friends.

Yes I said, but the schwanz[2] doesn’t know its enjoined to the body of a saint or sinner. It has a mind of its own.

[1] Respectable term for transvestites.

[2] German for cock or penis


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