DPM swears at Guar Perahu

Dato Seri Najib has sworn before the UMNO faithful. That is the most courageous thing that he has ever done. Didn’t Tun Mahathir tell us he is a coward? Didn’t many of us regard him as a political invertebrate?. Was, presently and forever?

Our supporters are elated. They think this is the death knell for Anwar and PKR. Habis lah Anwar- he does not have the testicular fortitude to undertake oath before God. So, DATO NAJIB has preceded Khairi J after all in burying Anwar and PKR.

But wait a minute. What is the significance of Dato Najib’s swearing? The Kopi Tiam which I frequent is noisy with all sorts of two cents worth commentaries.

For me, as soon as Dato Najib swore by way of uttering the Islamic incantations of the 3Ws( Wallahi, Wabillahi, Watallahi), I said, this is the nail in the coffin for….UMNO and BN. For it immediately tells me, the BN elections machinery has nothing else to offer to the people of Permatang Pauh.

Call me a doubting Thomas for all I care. Just like Rhett Butler said to Scarlett O’Hara- frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

That 3W thing immediately places our DPM in the same class as Saiful the sodomised. Who the hell are his advisors asking the DPM to sumpah? Saiful is just a college graduate drop-out. Dato Najib was said to have not completed his degree at Nottingham University. The only difference, I think, is Dato Najib has the mental wherewithal to complete his degree if he had stayed behind. But alas, fate intervened and he was recalled to be the UMNO candidate for Pekan, by default.

Those of you who have not held public offices should not be overwhelmed by the oath taking by way of the 3W. There’s nothing to it really. It’s not as severe and death defying as taking a bottle of Paraquat or Roundup. Right? It does not mean anything at all except playing to the gallery.

I tell you what. When you are about to take office as a divisional committee member in an UMNO Bahagian, you stand up and take the solemn 3Ws oath. Everyone would raise their right hand and utter the 3Ws. You think, after uttering the 3Ws, the committee members turn into saints?

Holy camel dung- they don’t. UMNO jawatankausa bahagian members cheat, bugger, sondol, fornicate, corrupt others and pay their way to retain their positions. So don’t give us this holy crap.

To me then, swearing by the 3W means nothing except to reveal you have nothing more to give.

Hey, I have just thought of a theory. It’s not scientific yet because it has not been tested. I mean, it has not been subjected to rigorous empirical tests using regression techniques or econometrics methods. What’s the theory, pray tell.

I have observed over the years, that there seems to be an inverse relationship between the efficiency in doing a particular job and oath taking. I am not sure whether that relationship is linear or exponential though.

IN PRACTICE THEN, WE OBSERVE THAT THE MORE FREQUENT THE OATH TAKINGS, THE LOWER THE QUALITY OF WORK PRODUCED.

AND LOWER QUALITY HERE IS A GENERIC TERM.

Let’s see. When officials assume public office, they usually carry out oath takings by uttering the 3Ws. And usually, it is observed those who took oaths on taking their posts are the very ones who frequently abuse and violate the very oaths allowing them into office.

The District Officers abuse their position by amassing large tracts of land, as do the settlement officers, the surveyors , the penghulus. The ketua kampungs violate the trust of the government and their charges by carrying out land scams.

When holders of public offices assume other positions, they take the same oaths and repeat the abuses and violations of the very oaths that were supposed to sustain them.

Hence the more oaths they took, the more abuses they commit( i.e. the lower quality of integrity).

So, the more oaths and sumpahs Dato Najib takes, the principle behind the inverse relationship between oath taking and quality operates. That makes Dato Najib what?.....aw.... go on, say it to yourself. Say it loud! Say it proud!

So, when wise men of old admonished against making sumpahs, there can actually be a scientific basis to it after all. You self destruct because of the oaths.