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Sakmongkol ak 47

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Saturday, 11 October 2008

On Electrons, dynamism and govermentium

One of Sakmongkol’s favourite blogger is Mat Bangkai. Sakmongkol is loathed to say the word bangkai. In English it means carcass. Perhaps it originated from his residential school days. As you know, hostelites like to give monikers to each other. Sakmongkol prefers to call him mb. That’s more re-assuring and respectable.

Probably when mb was kicking his radiator/heater in his Malaysia hall room in 1981, sakmongkol was finishing his master’s degree in ulu Manchester. If he was staying in Malaysia hall, he must have just arrived in the UK at that time.

Mb’s forte is his writings on fiction. But sakmongkol suspects that he writes by reaching back to actual experience. We Malaysians, especially Malays are fortunate that this person who calls himself mat bangkai enriches our own life through his writings. Sakmomgkol has written early on, that if Malay boys and girls like to learn the English language, go visit mat bangkai in his blog.

Sakmongkol has since discovered, through mb’s blogs other splendid writers such as the one who blogs by the name of write away, puteri kamalliah and many others who sakmongkol is sure to discover. Sakmongkol’s better half, who speaks better English than Sakmongkol does, is improving. She writes through her innocuous blog, mamasita mamamia blog. Of course, sakmogkol has always been impressed by the doyen of the language( at least in sakmongkol’s estimation) the fitness freak, Zaharan Razak o f” I” of the storm.

Therefore when once in a while and sakmongkol really wishes they would do this more often, they descend and write on the more mundane topical issues such as politics, sakmomgkol finds their perceptions very enriching.

Sakmogkol was rummaging through the older writings of mb and found this one. Sakmongkol hopes, mb will not mind. Sakmongkol finds this particular piece very relevant in this troubled times.

Mb spoke about a discovery in science. Lets enjoy his short essay.

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has

  • 1 neutron
  • 25 assistant neutrons
  • 88 deputy neutrons
  • and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,

giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalized with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

End….

By definition, governmentium is inert since it has no electrons. Inert implies stillness, lifeless, static- in other words not useful at all,. In order to get movement, progress and dynamism, we need electrons.

Therefore, it is most important, for all the scientists in us , to ensure there are sufficient quantities of electrons to power up our society. The importance of electrons in generating power can be illustrated by the field of electronics.

Electrons are very important in the world of electronics. The very small particles stream through wires and circuits creating currents of electricity. The electrons move from negatively charged parts to positively charged ones. The negatively charged pieces of any circuit have extra electrons while the positively charged pieces want more electrons. The electrons then jump from one area to another. When the electrons move, the current can flow through the system.

When current moves, we get light! Thank you mb.

6 comments:

ct 11 October 2008 at 21:22  

Bro

This is real wit. Brought a major laugh in me. Between you and mb, political wit and satire on Malaysian politics is alive and well. Based on your extract of mb's piece, I agree that he is truly in a different class of blogger. Brilliant!

ajipp 11 October 2008 at 23:16  

mr sakmogkol

why now mr tdm not supporting mr ku li ? i thought he proposed kuli for president? Is he lying or ular ?

Piggy Singh,  12 October 2008 at 01:47  

Heavy elements are usually not stable and may undergo nuclear decay. How fast it nucleus rots depends on its half-life.

Recent discovery found that the isotope governmentium-312 has half-life 5++ years, and the decay emits elusive particles known as neutrino, norino and khairino.

Mat Cendana 12 October 2008 at 10:59  

Had seen this post last night (or, early morning) but was too sleepy to comment. Thanks for mentioning about mamasita. Had heard (or "read") of this name popping up here and there but had never been to the site before until I got that link here last night.

What a coincidence - I had mentioned all these writers too at my site yesterday! (not this one but "the other")

Mat Bangkai (Like you, I had hangups about using this name myself but well, since he himself is using it...) is in a class of his own, with his stylish and sophisticated writings. I'd feel like a plebeian outlander when I visit his site. And that of Zaharan Razak too. That's why I rarely leave comments over those two sites.

Elviza is more like mamasita. And Puteri Kamaliah of kata kama - Their writings are smooth and elegant. Might their sex have a connection with this? I don't know myself.

But it's great that there are Malaysians who can write like they do. And this is another thing I've realised in my 3 months of going online: 95% of the blogs I go to are by Malaysians.

walla 12 October 2008 at 12:06  

Thank you for the intro to Mat Bangkai. He may be a generation younger but anyone who's into law and string theory and writes witty on particle physics in government is smart. A sheer delight reading his piece, and sakmongkol's continuation of it. Positrons, both of you. The best of quarks, baryons, exotic matter even.

Also many thanks for mamasita. Her blog reflects elegance, good nature and all that's the best in womanhood.

btw, the kind gentleman replied to my query and gave KA's email. It may not however work. You just need to try:

kassim03 (at streamyx.com)

mamasita 12 October 2008 at 12:46  

O thank you Walla..I'm so cheered up on a sometimes lousy Sunday!Thank you for perking me up this morning and giving me some hope on some things that I thought of giving up already!Thank youuu!

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