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Sakmongkol ak 47

ariff.sabri@gmail.com

Monday, 3 May 2010

Just horsing around


 

There's this joke about Samy Velu. He was for a long time, minister in charge of JKR. It is normal for any minister when visiting kampongs and hamlets to promise the moon and the stars.

One day, our draughtsman/architect turned minister found himself in a kampong.

Tuan2 dan puan, saya berjaji akan membina satu jambatan disini untuk tuan tuan. Kita akan bikin cantik punya, kasi orang kampung senang hati.

His flabbergasted aide rushed toward him and whispered- Dato Sri, there's no river here.

Unflustered he said- tidak apa apa tuan tuan- kita akan bina satu sungai, kemudian kita bina itu jambatan.

Samy Velu understands economics. He is practising backward /forward linkage and economic integration. He doesn't need blue ocean strategy – the red and blue sea stuff.

First, when the economics professor talked about red and blue sea- itu Ibrahim Ali ada faham kah? Most probably he doesn't and probably he was cursing shit, shit shit. Ibrahim Ali is a better novelist than Shanon Ahmad. Shahnon Ahmad can only come up with one shit. Ibrahim Ali is capable of shitting 3 times.

You want to monopolise the aerospace industry- then be a pilot. You want to monopolise the health industry- then be a doctor. You monopolise your chosen field. You qualify yourself to dominate a market.

Might as well Perkasa asks the government to legalise economic apartheid. Why not ask the government to legislate- have Bung Mokhtar or Mohd Abdul Aziz and Ibrahim Ali speak about this in parliament. Make the government decree that certain economic activities are exclusively for the puteras. Just like Air Asia asking for exclusivity in wanting flight routes.

25 comments:

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 11:49  

What is the blue ocean thing that the shit 3 times Ibrahim is talking about? What blue ocean do Malaysia have that can be made bumi exclusive?

I don understand this guy.

d'enricher 3 May 2010 at 12:21  

Dato,

Saya nak komen pasal jembatan kat Shah Alam la, dah lama nak tulis tapi tak berkesempatan, kerana kena ada pho baru seronok.

Saya duduk kat Shah alam sejak tahun 8ohan lagi, masa tu belum jadi Bandaraya lagi. Dekat Seksyen 24 dan 23 ada satu jembatan yang dibuat dengan tak ada sebab. Maka terbiarlah untuk sekian lama sehingga seksyen 23 dibangunkan sebagai kawasan perumahan dan komersil dan sejak baru-baru ini adalah Lebuhraya Kemuning Shah Alam (LKSA), orang sini panggil LAKSA.

Sekarang sedang diusahakan agar boleh digunakan, tapi bukan dalam plan pun, pasal kalau check record la mesti ramai orang MBSA dan Kerajaan Selangor yang lama tak dapat jawab.

Anyway ... saya cerita pun baru sekarang.

***
Blue Ocean ke apa ke, yang penting apa yang boleh untuk masa depan. saya ada tulis 1042 hari menjelang PRU13. Mungkin Dato sudi komen?

A.Alshukor
Cinta Alam Malaysia

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 13:08  

itu sami ada mari saya punya kampong.kampong sungai dua,kuala pilah.dia pun ada janji mahu bikin dua jambatan di kampong sungai dua.semua orang kampong hairan kerana di kampong sungai dua tidak ada sungai.ilek ,tapi semua orang tepok tangan kerana kerajaan akan bina 2 jambatan dan 2 sungai.terima kasih sami.
(abanglatipsungaitiga)

Zhuey Mao,  3 May 2010 at 13:18  

Those Perkasa clowns probably thought Red (in ocean or anything) refers to the Chinese.

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 13:39  

Well said Dato as for the ibrahim katak fella who talks shit ask him to join indah water as a cleaner as that who be the ideal place for him to smell the shit that come's out of his mouth.

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 14:13  

Hentam shithead tu, Dato. He's got twilight zone between his ears.

loveMyKris

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 15:50  

Dato'

Good that this Ibrahim fellow be viewed with disdain and contempt. I think he and his gang of mental-retards are doing more harm than good to the Malays who really need more help than the other races. As this dick is talking in such moronic manner, not only people do not take the issues raised by him seriously, but instead view them in a comical/satirical angle.No one with self-respect wants to associate with a dick, that is kepala besar, tapi otak takda.

kuldeep 3 May 2010 at 16:17  

I think BOS is right approach for Bumi..and any other biz ppl.
But like all consultant geek speak..easier in hindsight then in looking fwd.If its that easy..the authors Chan & Renee would be in biz rather then writing n leveraging abt BOS..

Its typical of the times we live in now..all rhetoric and big talk.

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 16:40  

watch your back dato
you might get sued.In bolehland u dont need to understand economics.You only need to know how money and power inter=relates and can bring much fortune and desire.
Gud one though about uncle samy vellu" ini hari hari jumahad"

Quiet Despair,  3 May 2010 at 16:49  

Kamal dah jadi MP. Palanivel dah jadi Senator.
Aya, bila lagi you mau berenti?
Itu Najib sudah kasi apa Aya mau. Sekarang you mesti jalan you punya janji.
Kita mau dengar lagi satu baik cerita la.
Jom kita ramai-ramai pressure dia berhenti.
But on second thoughts, biarkan dia.
He is BN's secret weapon. He can confuse the party's political foes.
Datuk Sak, among all the Cabinet ministers the most jokes are on Samy and Allahyarham Tun Sardon.
How about we contribute some jokes and you come out with a book called Samy's Capers.

As for Ibrahim Ali. My tagline for him is: Open Mouth, Insert Foot.

sakmongkol AK47 3 May 2010 at 16:52  

QD at 16:49

hari ini ramai pemuda pemudi kita hisap dada
saya sudah pun mengarahkan semooa wanita wanita MIC derma dara.

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 17:51  

Buahahahahahahahahahaha.

Hilariooooousssss Dato Sak!

I really do hope Berahi Ali & Posse
are indeed reading this - Itu pun kalau faham lah.

Tak pon Kecik Hati suruh bebudak pencacai "gertak" AK47 dengan Songkok Tinggi mereka arak ke PWTC dan juga balai polis yang berdekatan untuk buat laporan polis

Buahahahahahha!

You made my day Dato Sak!

Blue,Blue, Blue Ocean Berahi Ali weh .. demo pahe ke mu kecek gapo
dio?

Blue Film kot Berahi Ali mintak Exclusivity?

Kahkahkahkahkahkah - and Berahi Ali would reply "I'm a VICTIM of Popularity"

Lepas ni entah-entah Jefry Zain a.k.a Dato Jins Shamsuddin come to the rescue and save the day!

UMNO, UMNO, UMNO memang Jaguh Kampung dan selamanya Menang Sorak

- Ikan Tongkol-

donplaypuks® 3 May 2010 at 19:11  

Well Dato, here's a good one I heard recently about Shit x 3:

While inching forward in a massive traffic jam, a man taps on my car window. I wind it down and ask him "wazzup?"

"News is Perkosong Ali's been kidnapped by terrorists who are demanding a ransom of $10 million or they will douse petrol on his head and set him on fire!' he says, in panick.

"Well, how much are those in the cars up front donating?"

"At least a gallon each!!"

Lol!

dpp
we are all of 1 race, the Human Race

Quiet Despair,  3 May 2010 at 19:18  

At the height of the Al-Arqam issue.
Samy: "Saya bergembira bahawa tiada Pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes Arqam."

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 20:28  

Sak,

Ibrahim Ali is no same league as you la !! Please forgive him !!

As we all know, Ibrahim only knows how to talk shit, yes SHIT !!!

walla 3 May 2010 at 21:00  

The arrogance of Umno has returned.

Giving out awards and titles knowing full well they have no basis in terms of real achievements for the rakyat shows that in this country under Umno's administration, even honour can be corrupted. So if honour can be corrupted, what does that tell us of the gagasan that is to be defended?

So too with Perkasa and Utusan's sordid verbal and written punching of the Other Malaysians, in particular the Chinese Malaysians, in order to advance their own agendas. Both Perkasa and Utusan are just perceived to be proxies of Umno. So if they are doing it with the implicit and silent non-disapproval of Umno, what does that say of Umno's inclusiveness, diversity, 1Malaysia and NEM private sector-led growth engine programs?

Najib and Muhyiddin had once mildly said in an indirect fashion that inflammatory statements against the other races have no place in the new Malaysia. Now that Utusan and Perkasa have done it again, the rakyat are left with only two conclusions. One, the original retort was for show, and the second silence reaffirms the two bodies are really proxies for Umno's real stand on the other races.

Surely, even the Malays who know what's really going on would be tired of such antics.

The danger is the perceptions they create all over the world and at the beginning of the forthcoming 10MP. The goodwill needed to spur growth and cooperation is going to fizzle out.

Surely, the brains in Umno cannot be so stupid as not to realize they are contradicting themselves?

Therefore the rakyat conclude they are engaging in a two-front heart-winning campaign with view to regaining two-third majority in GE13 at all costs, including good race relations.

And that is all - a hot and cold political tactic to play and prey on all Malaysians. Including the Malays.

Why did the arrogance return? Because Umno has figured out the following:

- that it has a buffer block of votes in the civil service;

- that it can use the rakyats' money to buy voters in any election;

- that it can count on voters in Sabah and Sarawak including fast-tracked naturalized indonesians to vote for Umno;

- that it can use Perkasa, Utusan and others to spark fear and emotions amongst certain segments of the Malay community, especially those in the rural segments who do not have easier access to alternative media information that provides a different picture from what the MSM paints of real situations.

Given all these nefarious developments, will it be any wonder if Malaysia breaks down into two or more systems? People will just ignore Umno and Barisan and continue to do their own thing because they have concluded that Umno cannot do the right things.

And if a high-income economy is achieved, it will be done by the rakyat for the rakyat and of the rakyat in which Umno, Barisan and the Umno-run federal government will have little role to play other than wasting the taxpayers' money on a plethora of frivolous expenditures that defy all the good principles of transparent budgeting and governance.

The tragedy is that those who lose out in the end in the economic race to competitive prosperity will be those who have been blindly holding on to the belief that Malaysia is Umno and Umno is government and government is rights.

No, it has been wrong. Otherwise how could it have recommended awards to blockheads, sycophants and opportunists?

Wenger J Khairy 3 May 2010 at 21:06  

Hi Dato',
What a sharp post and thanks for the explanation on backward/forward integration.

It does seem very wierd that PERKASA is forced to use management lingo to get its point across. Many a time, commentators had remarked that 1MPM6 is "hadap" on management lingo. Perhaps a sign of the times..

However, I would not dismiss PERKASA's demands out of hand. The economic disparity between the Malays and the non-Malays is real, and a culture of monopolizing distribution rights to key goods and services has allowed the non-Malays to collect economic rent. For example, if Uncle Sam had to dig a river and then build a bridge over it, regardless of the crony contractor of choice, the non-Malays will have collected "economic rent" from the supply of labour (middleman for the Banglas), distribution of cement, construction equipment, leasing of backhoes, etc.

So the question is how do Malays compete?

NEP had provided an answer but the leadership including the Government civil service screwed the policy by allowing their loyalty to be bought.

The only way is for a high standard of ethics to be in place to implement the NEP objectives. Without ethics, the alternative is for individual Malays who are strong minded and determined to fight every inch of the way, which negates the premise that Malaysia is Tanah Melayu

Richard Cranium 3 May 2010 at 21:25  

"ayam kambing beg", said Samy, when Mahathir asked if he will be joining the cabinet for a meeting.

Richard Cranium 3 May 2010 at 21:27  

1. At a TV interview, when trying to say he was ashamed, he said: `Kemaluan saya besar'

2. During the water crisis: "semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr..!"

3. At an opening ceremony: "Tuan tuan dan puan puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain"

Anonymous,  3 May 2010 at 22:37  

After all these issues raised, where do head brothers. What do we do?
Dato Sak, please take the lead, we support you to set up a organisation to spearhead our idealism.

Anonymous,  4 May 2010 at 00:01  

Dato
My son is in form 2.I saw one of the themes in his Pendidikan sivik dan kewarganegaraan textbook.Its aptly tittled HIDUP BERMASYARAKAT
Get the brotherhood to read the book.Maybe they will learn thing or two, wise up and then maybe there is a remote chance there will be some form of thinking before a moronic statement is made.
Not all malaysians are morons.tell them that too.

Anonymous,  4 May 2010 at 00:22  

Dato,

PKR needs great man like you. Please consider.

sniper,  4 May 2010 at 01:54  

Dato

No economic formula is proven perfect.

To say that only the master can talk about their subject is like a politician telling voters that only them can lead the country.

We have seen the economic power of Japan, US and now Europe have collapse.

We have seen it happen in 3rd world countries ie South America, Asia, Africa.

Nobody is perfect, sir, but saying something is better than doing nothing.

Anonymous,  4 May 2010 at 06:59  

Dato',
People in Pasir Mas have never considered Ibrahim Ali as their MP. People here will be very happy if he were to vacate the seat to make way for another buy election. It will be considered as his greatest service to his constituency.
Why?
It will bring a windfall to the people here and at the same time relieve us of the shame to be associated with such a character as our MP.

Quiet Despair,  4 May 2010 at 08:55  

Another Samy joke.

Soalan: You ada sikit macam Tun M.
Samy: Ya ka (ketawa). Saya suka itu macam. He's my idol.
Soalan: You suka nangis, suka merajuk. Itu sama macam Tun M.
Samy: Ya, tapi saya ada lagi sini. Itu Dr M, sudah out.
Soalan: Tapi itu MIC macam mati kalu?
Samy: Tak da matila. Saya belum mati. Palanivel bikin MIC mati kalu, saya hantam sama dia.
Soalan: Tapi bila mau kasi Palanivel itu Presiden kerusi?
Samy; Nanti, Belum pikir lagi. Maybe mau kasi itu Mugilan.

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