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Sakmongkol ak 47

ariff.sabri@gmail.com

Thursday, 18 December 2008

Late Night Joke

Rats and PKRians

A UMNO man from Pahang walks into a curio shop in Kuala Lumpur. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "RM80 for the rat, RM500 for the story," says the owner. The UMNO man gives the man RM80. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."

As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, he notices that a few real rats have crawled out of the alleys and sewers and begun following him down the street. This is disconcerting, and he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him has grown to hundreds, and they begin squealing. He begins to trot toward the Benteng area, looking around to see that the rats now number in the MILLIONS, and are squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Benteng area, and throws the bronze rat as far out into the water as he can. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the river after it, and are all drowned.

The UMNO man walks back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," says the owner, "you have come back for the story?" "No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze statue of Anwar Ibrahim."

9 comments:

mekyam 18 December 2008 at 02:06  

GGKSS (golek2 ketawa separuh sewel)!

brilliant! :D

Kak Jayn 18 December 2008 at 02:36  

Mana kedai tu Dato? ada beberapa replika i nak beli(hahaha. a good one)

satD 18 December 2008 at 03:28  

sweet.......oih mekyam n kak jayn tok tido lagi ko?

mekyam 18 December 2008 at 04:31  

satD,

i'm probably a nocturnal bird like kak jayn.

tapi, it also happens to be afternoon where i am. :D

Unknown 18 December 2008 at 08:36  

hehe

didn't realise it's that easy ...

Apocryphalist 18 December 2008 at 09:54  

“Jokes? Jokes? Find humorous jokes in the rainbows of my piss!” – BenJoned Paraphrased.

Hehehe good one Dato’. Pening laa kekadang citer politiiiik jer ni. Some more dengan Dato’ Sak with his Economo-phobo-rostrums. Lagi pening. Unless of course I nak ambik postgrad in economics, baru nak selak balik all Dato Sak’s postings dulu.

So let’s all be merry for awhile huh? The following are some of the stuff I encountered yang I would flash back and have a good laugh sorang sorang whenever I drive alone.

[1] A PKR man, a DAP man, and a PAS head honcho one day attended a football match where it was the Pakatan Rakyat versus the BN for the final Malaysia cup tournament. The Leading striker was Rajoo from PKR, the coach was one Mr Lim from DAP and the PAS moulvi just was a… how to say it…"penasihat".

Now at one point, the striker dribbled the ball, bypassing all the BN hulks, proceeded to the goal post unperturbed and just as he was about to shoot and score, he missed the ball and kicked off his shoe instead (ala that Bush scene). The crowd was disappointed and the DAP coach couldn’t hold his string of obscenities: “You Mother******* Rajoo, you stupid moron”. Upon hearing this, our PAS ulama advised him, “Watch your language: the Lord hates that we be licentious in our sayings”. Mr Lim apologised.

Now next week there was another match against Thailand. Again, at just the importune moment, just as he was about to score, Rajoo the striker missed his chance again by scoring in his shoe into the goal post instead. The DAP coach couldn’t stand it any longer, and he started “You ass**** Rajoo, you nincompoop”. Again our PAS adviser cautioned, “Do not say that: Curses and profanities are the instruments of the devil”. Again Mr Lim apologised.

Now the following week the match was against Singapore. Same thing happened: Rajoo sent his shoe instead of the ball to the Singaporean goal. Now THIS time, our PAS honcho couldn’t take it anymore. He gathered all the team and suporters in a room, and quipped, “You know all those things Mr Lim talked about Rajoo? Well, they’re all true!”

[2] David Letterman in his monologue one day carried with him a bottle of liquid and said, “Look at this. Shampoo AND conditioner ALL IN ONE!! Now how the HELL do they DO that?”

[3] In the original Late Night with Johnny Carson, Jane Fonda was the guest one day, and she came in with the most beautiful Siamese Cat you’ve ever seen. As she was interviewed by Carson, she continued to stroke her diamond-studded feline and at one point asked carson, “Would you like to touch my pussy?” Carson replied, “I would, if you’d get that darned cat out of the way!”

[4] Samy Vello in the midst of the Arqam saga in the early 90’s: “Ader peehak yg busu hati mengatakan MIC itu sesat. Kami tidak sesat! Maleh ader juger peehak yang tak bertanggungjawab menuduh kami KAFIR!”

[5] “Salah! Salah! Salah! Ayoyo besarrrr kemaluan kita!” – Overheard at a peresmian kuil baru Selayang after the officiation by Rafidah Aziz, when she was invited to officiate the temple by pulling the cover of the plaque by the Chief Priest who announced, “Sekarrreng… dengen segale hurmatnyerrr, kita meminterr.. Puan Rafidah Azeez.. untuk membuker… KAINNYERR!!”

Laugh Well
Apocryphalist

Ariff Sabri 18 December 2008 at 10:14  

apocryphalist.
samy velu:
saya mengarakan wanita2 MIC derma dara, sebab ramai pemuda2 kita hisap dada.

Usual Suspect 18 December 2008 at 11:32  

Dato', this is one morbid joke! Lots of people can relate to it i guess

Anonymous,  18 December 2008 at 12:16  

HAH AHA A HA HA HA HA HAH HA HA HAH
What is this creature Anwar Ibrahim?
Anyway more ppl will see through his glittering facade and showy oratories.

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