Walla: Riff-Raffish Tales and Getting Fooked.

I am putting up yet again a brilliantly written comment from my friend Walla. What more can I say other than acknowledging Mr Walla as one of the foremost thinkers to have come out from the laid-waste land of ours.  Enjoy the reading.

U: We'll pull through this crisis. Umno will return unscathed.

B: That's not the point, is it? Umno is just a partial derivative of the political equation. This means there are other options and it is time everyone who can vote sees the crisis as the final indictment of Umno, a party worm-rotted to the core and way past its stale expiry date. And by final, I mean habis-lah cerita.

It must now be completely rejected, jettisoned and put to pasture so that it can take time to honestly review its own reality, relevance and rigmarole- rigged roles.

If you leave it alone to continue holding power, that power will further corrupt its leaders from making honest reviews because the power has already corrupted their hearts and minds until they can say one thing to the rakyat and do another thing behind their backs for all the pretentious public display of holding out both hands in some act of piety before our Almighty.

That's why crises happen again and again all these anguished years. Our Almighty Sees through everything. No accountability for all the stealing. Followed by no transparency so that those insufferable crooks can continue to wipe off the trail of their thievery. And when they fail to do so, they use every trick in their black books to deflect attention and distort facts in order to throw the rakyat off the track. So that when even those fail, the institutions that are supposed to protect the rakyat and the nation are instead used against both in order to protect the miscreants, misfits and maleficents. Enough-lah! (Lightning streaks across darkening sky, thunder peals, tears of rain tumble...)

U: (wipes sweat from nervous brows) I hate to say it but you're right. Just as you were right when you noted we have been using the process of race then religion then royalty to rake communal tension, sweep fawning loyalty and tighten our power control. But..

B: No but's. Just sore butt's. Here are two. One, if you say the rakyat make outrageous statements in the social media and take that as a reason to tighten control over their social media, why can't you just rebut their points one by one as and when they make them? If you next say you have done so, look again at what you had said or twittered, and ask yourself why then must you use twits to arrest the rakyat just because they cannot accept the riff-raffish waffles you advance as excuses?

The rakyat ask where's the money and you and your ilk answer you never used it for personal gain. When they expose wrong-doings, you execute arrests on the well-meaning whistle-blowers instead of going after the wrong-doers in much the same way you arrested those whose goods were flicked and bailed out instead the thieves who stole at that mall.

When the rakyat say the entire cabinet is complicit, your people say they don't know what's going on, a point which is incidentally so telling of how this country has been irresponsibly run all the while. Then they turn around and contradict themselves to say they know a bit more than others because they have fact sheets. Then they turn around again and say they don't understand the deals. You don't even know how to lie logically so what are you all good for? Members of a syndicate running a rogue nation on a mission impossible to achieve? Why not self-destruct in zero seconds right now?

U: Hey that's cute but..

B: I haven't finished. Two, the rakyat are suffering because Umno caused the suffering. You put in a tax that has ballooned inflation while knowing full well the rakyat cannot make more on their own to pay for the hiked prices. And that's retribution for all the Umno years of frivolous excesses and coconut-shell mentality towards real national development. Then you go and steal huge sums of rakyat money that are wired all over the globe to the utter embarrassment of the rakyat before the astonished eyes of the entire world. From those crony accounts, you chew and skim off big parts whose fate is still unknown after years. Now the rakyat are asking whether the desalination plants and coal mines are in Hollywood or Manhattan. While the rakyat are suffering from nenek to cucu, you pompously flaunt a frivolous lifestyle of Marcosian proportions conveyed with the aplomb and gait of a Caesar to the beat of hiltonian gyrations not even originated from middle-eastern belly-dancers, and all presumably while you're on a gazetted salary scale that won't even pay for the leather strap of one handbag. Right, Mr El Presidente, and your hangers-on, free-loaders, bangsa-agama-dan-tanah-air tricksters?

U: (sweat streaks down back) Hey that's not fair. We..

B: Patience. I haven't finished. You ask that the rakyat forget it, put all behind, that it's just politics you can hire and fire, that it's just a game. Well, let me tell you something on their behalf. The kraken has awakened. They realize to every man, woman, child and cow that they have been fooked by crooks. And hey, that's such an apt new word. Fooked.

Just imagine. You have the nerve to ask the rakyat to rally again with and behind you. What for? To smell the unsmellable, defend the indefensible, suffer the insufferables? Fook to you all! I am telling you the rakyat are not just revulsed. They are convulsed with a volcanic anger of explosive climax against all the unta's of Umno.

U: That is so unfair..

B: You are not going to be the only one to ask the rakyat to shut up. Didn't you say we are a democracy? Shan't we take that to mean this is not an animal farm - for if we are, you'll be the first lined up for the abattoir?

You ask for unity and teamship again so that development will be what you had promised. Did you promise the rakyat the fate of 1MDB to follow the fate of Felda, TH, what not else? Incidentally, what does 'D' stand for in 1MDB? It stands for development, doesn't it? So if 1MDB is finito, what is it you are now promising? The rakyat shudder to think if you and your bloody conniving crooks had succeeded in getting to mortgage the terengganu oilfields instead, what would have happened to the whole country's economy. Well, we know. More mansions, movies, shopping sprees and fine champagne for some, and kangkung and satu-ringgit ayam for millions.

So that you don't think the rest of you are absolved just because everyone is now going after N only, let me ask you and you and you and... - how the fook did you afford those expensive wristwatches beyond your payscales (http://is.gd/C8ZIlA)? Aren't you afraid of hudud?

U: We inherited them.

B: So what's keeping you from declaring your assets? Too shy or too sly?

U: Hey that's not...

B: Fair? You want to talk about fair. Let me goreng your telur right now. The pagoh cow said he asked N about that large sum. One, did he ask about the interest earned on it? Two, if he had known about that sum, why the deafening silence all those weeks before when the storm was brewing? Three, what was his role in cow-gate? And four, what has happened to cow-gate?

U: You're asking me? I haven't received the fact sheet yet...

B: Fact sheet. Charge sheet. All just shit. Now, this umno puteri girl with the memorandum of a hundred over branch signatures. She wears this shiny uniform. Maybe she should go back to sekolah first because she has only engaged a heart that is misplaced since the akal was left behind in the bilik darjah. Why she never asked about cowgate after she had said she loves Umno and bangsa and what not? That's the problem with our Umno malays. Seeing what we only want to see for the convenience of our own self-appointed myths. Lying to ourselves in order to lie to the rakyat of Malaysia. Racializing problems to only serve our own community exclusively even when those problems are suffered by all communities that pay the taxes which are the money needed to solve the problems, what more buy her shiny uniform. What's that word? Munafiq? Better use the money to help single mothers abandoned by their husbands under the influence of male-supremacized beliefs of camel vintage. no? no? no?

 U: But..

B: All must go lah. Buang lah semua. If N is out, who's next? Baganlatuk? Beer-drinker? M's Baldie? If what I had predicted about the PAC being toothless is true until its head can be seduced by just a dep seat, what is it that can still make Umno so much the saving grace for the twenty percent of Malay voters who still cling onto the unclingable, the telfonized, the screwed-up racists and crooked hypocrites of the century? M can trace for himself the Umno of his creation after he reads again his own post: http://is.gd/q9V2K6

 So remember this. We are no longer churlish to conclude Umno is just a partial derivative or curly. For the twits and uber-troopers, that doesn't necessarily imply curs. But they already know that, don't they?

U: Actually, I too sometimes think they don't. And, B, all your points are well-taken.

B: So, it remains for me to ceremonially hand over this pink mop. Clean out completely your own party. It's not just a national and international embarrassment. By His Standards, it's a cosmic revulsion. Go join Pakatan and help it transform into the new saviour of Malaysia. You already know all the bad things that must be avoided. After all, you had so many years doing them.