The sleazy scandal of Fashion Valet. Tales by an unknown blogger. No 23.

1. The most distressing business news lately is the 43m loss incurred from the sale of private business, fashion valet.

2. The loss, said khazanah national and PNB is minimal when compared to the overall earnings of the 2 government entities.

3. Hooray (Sic) we are comforted by this CYA rationale. We can sleep peacefully tonight and continue more pleasurable activities, given the assurance.

4. Khazanah and PNB have got a phalanx of investment analysts. They must have exercised great care to part with 47m of tax payers money. They know it's not their father's money .

5. But allow a 'samdol' economist like me look at fashion valet from a few angles .

6. I shall speak bluntly and frankly using my colourful language. Accordingly I must caution that children should not read my analysis without parental guidance. Those with prudish values shouldn't either.

7. The fact is, we have a 43-44m loss. It must be caused by several reasons. The ones that come readily to my mind are as follows:-

8. Professional negligence and incompetence brought about by the usage of f-ed up analical tools, refusal to take remedial actions even when fashion valley continuously underperform in terms of profit and economically etc.

9. First we must ask, is FV an attractive investment portfolio. If it is a deficits making entity, why was it even considered for a 47m endowment? Apa pasat?

10. Was it because it's a bumiputera company, it must be accorded hak istimewa bumiputera treatment and must be treated with kids glove. Or was it because it becomes attractive because it offers the possibilities of clinton-esqe groping, caressing and trump-like fingering?

11. Hello mofos, Najib went to jail for 42m. This 43--44 million repurposed, is theft by other means. Off with their heads, underpants and knickers!

12. Did the team from khazanah and PNB used the bottom up, top down, fundamental, PE,ROE, earnings per share and dividend yield, book value methods and so on?

13. More likely to me, the team used the bottom up, top down methods. And in this case also the under the table method and the dick penetration analysis methods .

14. The udtm and dpam. These are novel investment methods very in vogue in Malaysia for a long time .

15. You know, under the bottom up and top down methods, instead of looking at things like management competence, pricing power or economic and industry trends , the idiots look at other things .

16. The bottom up and top down methods, they possibly look at the angle of the bump for easy penetration. These are more influenced by variables like thrust of the pole at the hole, pressure at the pressure at the breasts etc.

17. These are better at explaining the f-ed up 43m loss don't you think? 18. Trying to mollycoddle us by saying that this 43m loss is minimal when compared to the overall earnings of khazanah and PNB, invites the typical retort of pekan people, kepala bapak awak.

19. We are discussing the particular losses of FV not the overall earnings of khazanah and PNB. The others are doing well perhaps due to fortuitous reasons and intrinsic strengths of the other portfolios and not due to the competence of the mofos at khazanah and PNB . So don't talk cock!

20. The FV loss was due to top management's lackadaisical, languorous and half asrsed attitude toward the investment. Buta2 signed and approved.

21. It was due to the particular team's incompetence appraising FVs attractiveness by using f-ed up analytical tools or not using them at all. It was just a gut call and anything from the gut stinks.

22. By ignoring the fact that FV has incurred 5 consequtive losses but still considering it still an attractive portion is blasphemous in the financial world. 22. Still considering it an attractive portfolio.....

23. This strongly suggests that FV is considered good because the appraisers were motivated by other reasons.

24. Perhaps it's the pay-under-the -table tool. It could be ad valorem or nominal sum.

25. Otherwise the appraisers used the dick penetration analysis. This method could be bottom up or top down analysis. Both involved the thrust of the pole at the hole and pressure at the boobs.

26. Readers may not like my description of the methods. Nevermind. Let the investigative authorities establish the reasons and describe them in typical bland ways

27. Let's move on to the company. We are not interested in the personalities behind the company. We look at the bottom line not the people's bottom

28. If the principal owners, because of their idiocy think they can resign and escape accountability,they have another thing coming. They can resign and enjoy their millions but accountability follows them .

29. If they have obtained the 47m of taxpayers money by deception and it's illegal they must go jail. Irrespective of that full restitution of the 47m must be enforced

30. As the Malay says, there's no rain and thunder, a spokeswoman from the company says there's no fraud, no scandals.

31. That unsolicited statement makes people more determined to find out whether there was fraud and scandals. Malaysians love scandals.

32. Finally, don't give me that shit about hak istimewa bumiputera. Hak istimewa bumiputera does not mean the miscreants who are malays can and are entitled to do anything they pleased . Or because they are malays they must be treated with kids gloves and the law applied on them gently.

33. Or they are entitled as of right to be groped, caressed, stroked and fingered seductively. Nahi! Nein!

34. Samuel Johnson said that nationalism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. He was lamenting the misuse of nationalism.

35. Let's not misuse the hak2 istimewa bumiputera to protect scoundrels, thieves, charlatans, whoresons, spalpeens, ne'er do wells and mothereffers.