Jurisprudential Jests

1. I find the conduct of Najib's lawyer to be despicable. Now if you happened to be that lawyer, please don't take this assessment, personally.

2. No litigation is necessary. Their conduct drives home, a true observation. What the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is a spineless and poisonous blob. The other is a form of marine life.

3. The previous lawyer was good. The present one tries to be better. The previous one managed to drag najibs case for 4 years. The present one tries to drag it longer.

4. Until he is stopped by a woman CJ. What Maggie Thatcher said must be true after all.

5. When you want something said, ask a man. When you want something done, ask a woman.

6. Only a woman seems to put meat on the bone, proving you need a woman to prove what Lord Hewart said was true.

7. That justice must not only be done, it also must be seen to be done

8. Nearer to home, it drives home a local truth. Never mess with tkc girls.

9. Not with the one you are sleeping at home with, and certainly not with the one deciding your case.

10. Some smart Alec suggested we bring back the trial by jury system. Not a good idea if 8 out of the 12 jury members were women.

11. Najib would have pleaded guilty earlier. He can't fool even one woman, what more, 8 of them.

12. If I see the courtroom with so many lawyers, I shall rue the day. I will never be able to tell the truth. Even though I swore to tell the truth and nothing but the whole truth, I won't be able to.

13. That's because when I want to, a lawyer will object.

14. That further convinces me that lawyers are a despicable lot. A zookeeper mistakenly left the door to a snake pen opened. Try as he does, he couldn't get the slithery vermin back in.

15. A zookeeper colleague comes to help. Together, they still can't get the snakes in. Exasperated, the colleague yells out. Call a lawyer!

16. Why a lawyer?asked the first zookeeper. We need someone who speaks their language.

17. Lawyers must really be obnoxious creatures. A swami, rabbi and a lawyer were travelling in the countryside when the car in which they are travelling broke down.

18. They came upon a cottage and the owner said. It's too late to call the tow truck, but I am afraid I have only 2 spare beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.

19. The swami said. My faith taught me humility, so I'll sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. The swami said. There's a cow in the barn. My faith forbids me to sleep with a cow.

20. It's OK said the rabbi. I'll sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. The rabbi said there's a pig in the barn. I can't sleep alongside a pig.

21. This time, the lawyer goes to sleep in the barn. Again a few minutes later there were knocks on the door. The cottage owner sighed but still open the door. This time it's the cow and the pig.

22. when you take a photograph, to make the subjects smile, you say, say cheese. Lawyers are an unsmiling lot. To make them smile, you say fees!

23. If this is your chosen profession, don't take these jurisprudential jests personally. On the sidebar, make a note. No litigation necessary. Instead, take these jokes as a compliment.