Dato Najib's wet dreams.

WET DREAMS FOR DATO NAJIB, NIGHTMARES FOR PEKAN.

Anyone wishing to visit Pekan from Kuantan, must cross the bridge spanning the Pahang river at Pekan. This bridge built many years ago, joins the Royal town of Pekan with the Peramu Jaya area. It is named after the late Sultan Abu Bakar. There was a toll before which operated for a good many years. The toll collection was discontinued when the capital outlay for constructing the bridge was fully recovered.

Before reaching this bridge, one passes first, the new house built by HRH Tengku Puan, the wife of HRH the Tengku Mahkota of Pahang. This house is a few yards from the palatial home of Dato Seri Najib. It is Najib’s house in Pekan-On-River.( like Southend –On-Sea, see?) . But it is not about his home that I wish to speak of. It’s the bridge. The bridge!.

From now on, we must observe this bridge CAREFULLY!.

Is there a cause for concern? Will it collapse like so many buildings built on shoddy workmanship nowadays? Built by the contractors endorsed and selected by Samy ‘the Don’ Vellu? Remember the newly repaired ceiling of the Malaysian parliament? Remember the Dewan in Penang?

Fortunately, the bridge was constructed using old school methods. Good workmanship, real china man contractor. Honest to god workmanship. The cause for concern, dear readers is as follows.

A little while from now, hundreds, nay thousand of Pekanians especially UMNO members will be lining up on the bridge. On either side of the bridge. They will hold each other’s hands waiting for the moment. Pray tell us Sakmongkol, what is the moment?

1! 2! 3!, all of them, in unison in the hallowed UMNOesque tradition will jump into the river. They will wait when the tide is low. There is indeed a tide in the affairs of men. Some of you may remember these lines;

There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

That way no one would die drowned. Unless they jump headfirst or headlong thus breaking their necks. Needless to say, many will have broken legs. And alas, dear readers, they will be bound in the shallows and in miseries.

Have they been seized by a sudden bout of demonic madness? Are they suffering from severe manic depression? The answer dear readers, no, they have not gone mad. Fortunately. But they are suffering from a seizure of the severest form of depression and haplessness.

Their manic depression is brought about by a political affliction. It is caused by the failure of the object of their desire, the centre of their affection, Dato Seri Mohd Najib bin Tun Abdul Razak to become our country’s 6^th PM. What? Didn’t the resolution passed by the UMNO branch of Kampung Ubai acknowledged as a reflection of the true wishes of the people? For a brief moment, the Pekan people forgot that Dato Najib himself has rejected the invitation of Encik Hanapi Salleh to become the UMNO President

The fault, I am afraid, is not with poor Encik Hanapi Salleh. The fault, I am more afraid lies with Dato Najib himself. He does not yet know and the thickies at UMNO Bahagian Pekan will conceal the information from him, that many more branches than lone Ubai, had passed written resolutions supporting Tengku Razaleigh as UMNO president.

So crushing is the realisation that the favourite son of Pekan fails to make it, that the Pekan folks all cried in great despair. This is what drives them by the thousands, standing on the edges of the Sultan Abu Bakar bridge. Out of utter despair, some forgo their meals, losing much weight in the process,. Womenfolk refuse to bed their man and boyfriends. Men refuse their wives and girlfriends. Oh yes, there is much going on in sleepy Pekan. They learn well from their favourite son. Men and adults will cry. Their howls fly to the heavens.

That is the sadness which will soon engulf the Pekan folks. Numerous times spent on special prayer sessions cannot undo what the heavens have already decreed. How can God accept the prayers and entreaties if amongst these congregations are the fornicators, the sodomites, the depraved, drunkards and the corrupt?

This work of part fiction, part fact will be continued. Sakmongkol is sleepy.